My Big Fish_my father

I am a woman, so I can safely say that I know little about being a man. All I do know is whatever few things I could gather from knowing my dad while growing up and what little I am gathering now since meeting my husband. All I have picked up is about a man being a father and me being the youngest daughter amongst three (quite a truckload I must admit!) got the best he could offer. After all, till the time he got to raise me, he had many opportunities to learn, to soften from those findings, and to open up in many unexplained ways.

I remember my father from the prime of his youth. I should not be proud to say this but I must confess that I owe my traits of being a complete delicate princess to him. He made sure, I allotted no time to household works and completely focused my life on things as he would say would “matter later on”, viz a viz, my career, my knowledge, intellect, and how I turned out as a human being. He provided me with the best the world had to offer, even if that meant slashing on his own needs or my mother’s.

I have this acute interest in writing and telling bedtime stories, many times finding a keen audience in my husband when he cannot sleep. Taking out time from his extensively packed schedule each day, this was a gift that my father bestowed on me, me being completely unaware of it being passed on. An unclouded image of him as a narrator each night is imprinted on my mind. I negated all his attempts of getting away with an old story, I being a smart little girl, remembering each one he had ever told, forcing him to make up a new one each night. His tales of bravery, kindness, compassion, intelligence, and love in both men and women alike, strengthened my belief in fairytale endings and equal opportunities for both genders. I believe it was my father who told me, ‘when it is not right, it is not the end’, a phrase made famous by many movies now.

I was lucky to be raised as a man, and I am aware many of you reading this will question my uniformed way of saying this and will counter with ‘how both men and women are equal, etc, etc’, but believe me as many of you will admit in your hearts, as I have grown up, this society has taught me that it is not true. My father has always credited women to be the true power of this universe, the center for all that there is, and the end where all that which exists goes to perish. I credit these majestic thoughts to be the reason for him to be surrounded by us four women, his beautiful wife, and his three loving daughters.

Do not get me wrong, but yes, I have witnessed him being a fine husband too. He has always been supportive of my mother’s dreams or my grandparent’s wishes for her and made sure that she never gave up on her creative pursuits (a rare quality to find in men). She contributed to society as an impeccable educator, continues to be an excellent writer, and extends her support to many charitable organizations to this day.

He always saw something extra in not only me but both, my sisters, too. The very fact that he trusted our talents more than us, has always been a massive push for us to achieve the greatness he aspires.

The reason I have written this today can be attributed to the sleepless nights I had while visiting my parent’s house the first time, after months of me being married. Funny as it may be, the very house I had grown up in, from a frequently mistaking child to this grown-up version of a somewhat more controlled woman, had become a stranger to me. The very bed which opened its arms to me and folded me in its comforting mattress gave me two straight sleepless nights. I decided to bring it up with my father the very next day. He said nothing. I was in deep thought all day and blamed it all on this obligatory distance that had been created in between us in lieu of the societal reasons. Disrupted by these thoughts I went to bed again. But this time I slept.

You know why?

That night my father told me a story.

I am sure all the girls reading this would understand what I feel. I know you all love your fathers. Many of you have also found love from another man in your life (I was lucky to find it in my husband), but the love for your father cannot be confined to words. These lines cannot even justify as an introduction to what a great man you are Pa! I love you.