Knock knock knockin…
I rarely open and go through the many famous FB links which make you take quizzes and then magically appear who your best friends are or who you were in your past life. But this particular post which read and I quote “What if someone told you this is heaven?”. Yes, you must have figured by now that I do believe that there is a heaven, if not hell, but heaven for sure. If this is my heaven, I have two options, one: not to believe it and the other to believe it, and if I do, my options are limited from thereon.
What is heaven after all? To all of us, it holds different meanings. To me, it’s being loved. If this truly is my heaven, then I must weigh the love I have received. But is it just okay to receive it and never give it back? What about the times when you are angry, scared, or hurting, to give this love back seems like a farfetched thought. If this was truly the best that life had to offer, I would feel no pain, no sadness, and would be free from all hurt. But I do feel these things, I am sure all of you do too, and more often than not it outweighs the happiness. So what should I believe? As we all age, the ability to believe in ourselves dwindles,s and the faith we can hold in others just dies.
Heaven seems to me like a childish combination of words, ‘He who won’, maybe, maybe not. It is confusing, this life, and in its entirety, we are obsessed with the idea of the collection of things, places, people, and memories. What if there is nothing that you can carry forth? What if you forget it all? What if there is no dramatic flashback of your life in your last moments? Is it worth your every passing moment to spend it crying, hurting, being angry or feeling dejected? I really am clueless, but what truly is amazing is that every time you feel all of these things, you feel something so strong and powerful that your heart pounds. Love is beautiful too, it is harder to come by, but when it does, it makes you feel powerful, but with all the power come rushing all these piercing feelings. All the hurt does not stop us from loving, so why should all the loving stop us from hurting? It is heaven too, is it not?
It is a journey no kidding yet this journey breathes on the soul idea of us living each moment of it. The moment we shift our focus it flies by but the very second we stare it in the eye, it eludes us by stretching the very fabric which ties us together, time. So should we just sleep it off? Or actually wake up and witness it as it passes us by. I don’t know about you but for me, the answer is right in front of me how much ever vague it may seem. I cannot put it in words and nor would I try.
What is heaven in the end? I consider it is an idea that we created to solace ourselves with the dreadful idea of mortality. We are who we are and maybe one day we will never wake up and all of these possessions which make us sleep soundly at night will vanish. Maybe we will wake up in a better world than this, maybe it won’t be a world at all or maybe there would not be any waking up ever. Whatever it will be, I am ready for this life, this heaven as it is, and to take everything it has to offer me. Hold my hand if not in this, then in another world and if you failed to give love or get love in return, I promise to love you with all my heart in this one.