Love and its sweet longings
Distance has been the major rival for me and my love. I had lost my heart when I was a young woman (a ‘grown-up girl’ was more like it). But now when I have found love again and when distance finds its way cleverly seeking into my beautifully built moments, it lifts the veil on a very important detail that I have missed almost my entire life. Distance is a friend of time. While the distance increases between you and your lover, you tend to be stuck in it for the long haul. The little complications which you can easily avoid when face-to-face tend to be fatal for long-distance love. The relationship ends on paper, but inside you are always guilty for giving up too easy on something so special, making you hold on to a piece of its sweet memory tucked away safely in a secret closet.
Why is it when you are back in your old neighborhood/place/school/.. you are reminded of that beautiful love which blossomed in its sweet corners but you had to give up to pursue things which you thought would matter, education/job/.. But if this very romance happened to be your first, am doubtless you can ever hardly shake it off in your entire life.
There are numerous movies that talk about longing, songs composed around the pain of separation, books are written, and even folklore. But in the end, whether it be the army man returning to his family, childhood sweethearts meeting after days, or an old couple reuniting after decades; these visions invoke a sense of a utopian enchantment which makes forgetting the struggles of isolation seem ridiculously small!
So what if you actually never give this to yourself, you know, meeting the one you gave up in the journey? Would you carry the pain inside yourself unknowingly or be strong enough to forgive yourself and move on? It’s a trick interrogation that seduces us leading us to sometimes believe that we are not even worthy of any loving; neither receiving nor providing it. I really cannot be the judge of what is right or wrong or even the possibility of any of this being of any significance to anyone. But what I can safely say is that this loving and losing is the only way of knowing that love even existed, the surest way to bury all ignorant doubts.
If we look at what distance does to us, the teachings are hard to miss. So if you are in a long-distance relationship right now or have been in one ever in your life, we will strike a concord on the following lessons ‘learned’ or ‘learning'(for the poor souls in a current one) :
1. It’s not always a bad thing to be on your own for a while.
2. You have better relationships with your friends now.
3. You are an ideal daughter/son to your folks because now you have extra time for them.
4. Your work/grades don’t suck anymore.
5. You are not being shat on by your boss/professor for being late.
6. You enjoy the benefits of the ‘single’ girls/boys night out in spite of being in a relationship.
7. You have more time for yourself, that face pack, gym, or any other ‘hobbies’ you have now developed.
8. You have collected many stories of your own which you can talk about at that skype chat you have planned next!
9. The news of him/her finally meeting makes you feel invincible and the excitement of ‘getting-together’ is giving you the sweetest lil’ ache in your stomach.
10. You can finally write love letters!
I know most of you reading will consider me quite bang on in saying that the way long-distance sucks, all these ‘teachings’ are not good enough. But that’s the silver line folks! You get to choose in the end. Whether it’s worth the wait or you don’t wait for anyone. It’s bitter-sweet whichever way you choose to go, but whether you admit it or not, it surely does make every chapter in your life unwarrantedly exciting!